One Year Later

Last week was the one year mark of me living in Haiti. Many words come to mind, but there is one that has come in my mind every day...FULL. I am full of gratitude, full of happiness, full of love, full of honor, and full of HOPE.

When I came one year ago, I knew I was listening to the call God had placed in my heart, but I did not know that the call would in return bring me to this level of refreshing. Stepping out in faith has blessed me more than I could have ever imagined. There is something about serving those God has put in front of you that brings you to a state of renewal. I never want things in my life to become stagnant, and living in Haiti, has certainly kept this from happening...

I will start with five sweet blessings:

Jean - the child that has changed my life forever, the one who has showed me to take nothing for granted (from the air I breathe to the ability to express myself)

Fitson - the happiest child on the planet who has taught me that laughter and joy should be a part of every day life

Denise: the little girl that has showed me that all challenges and obstacles can be overcome

Rose Mica: the precious girl who always reminds me about the innocence of a child

Carlos: the cute boy who has taught me to never give up, to love in the tough times, and that patience is key



The construction has begun on the home that will house the special needs children here at the orphanage. It will be a honor and privilege to be their housemother. Our little family is just beginning...

"Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin." Zechariah 4:10 NLT

As I look at this past year, I am reminded of the hard times. These are the times that God reminded me to trust in Him and give Him glory even in the most difficult days. I have been greatly humbled by the way God comforts. Haiti is surrounded by death, so I knew it wouldn't be long before I had to face it with my own eyes. Sweet little ones like Dianise, Joudliska, Wesnerson, and Junika all went home to heaven. They were ultimately saved from suffering any longer, and this I am grateful for.



I have seen death, but I have also seen miracles in the last year. When Chivensky's shunt (placed for Hydrocephalus) malfunctioned, a neurosurgeon "just happened" to stop by the property to say hi. He was leaving the next day, but we had him look at Chivensky and he performed the brain surgery the day he left! Chivensky would have died within a few days if the surgery didn't happen. I am also reminded of the three days and nights I had Jean across the border in a clinic with severe pneumonia. The nurses told us later that they thought he had died after one of his seizures because he stopped breathing, but God saved his life. Then there is Givensky, a little blind boy in the village, who fell into a fire his blind mother was cooking dinner in. One miracle after another has taken place...

All of this has made me FULL. I have become a better person through it all, and I have been blessed beyond measure. I am thankful for everyone in my life. I am grateful for this opportunity, and I am appreciative to everyone who has come alongside of me. The encouragement, support, and love has been overwhelming from my family and friends in the United States as well as everyone I work with in Haiti. My heart has grown bigger, for sure! It was a year of new beginnings, a year of healing, a year of deeper love. It has certainly been a year to remember and I look forward to another!

Peace, Joy, and Love...

I have thought about whether to write this now or sit on it for a few days, but my heart is telling me now, so here it goes…

If you have kept in touch with me, you are aware of this sweet little baby named Junika. She probably weighed less than 5 lbs when we first met her. Her grandmother and mother brought her to the property a few months ago asking for help because the mother was very ill. The mother went to the hospital, and died that night. Junika was a couple months old, and so little. Brittany (a missionary at Danita’s Children) had the baby go to the local hospital for analysis, and it came back saying that she was HIV positive and malnourished. The treatment: baby formula.



These past few months, Danita’s Children has helped out Junika as well as the family with formula and food. Last month when I came home, I asked if anyone would like to donate for Junika. The response was overwhelming. I was able to buy her clothes, formula, diapers, and even a bassinet.

I put the bassinet together two nights ago, and was going to post pictures of it online, but the Internet was down, so I didn’t get a chance to. I had planned on bringing her the bassinet after church today. This morning, I did not see the grandmother and Junika, and I knew something had to be a matter because the grandmother always came to church. She is a very faithful and lovely woman. At 3 o’clock, two family members came to tell me that Junika had a high fever, and the grandmother was walking her to the property to get medicine. Sweet Junika died on the walk in her grandmother’s arms.



I immediately called Karris, and asked if I could go see the grandmother. She said yes, and I was on my way with the family members and one of our older boys, Lucsaint, just moments later. It was quiet when I arrived at the home, but as soon as I stepped inside the grandmother made eye contact with me and wailed. I simply put my arm around her and said, “Mwen Pardon” (I’m sorry.) I looked to the corner of the room, and saw Junika lying on a rice sack, in an outfit I gave her just three days ago, and a blanket up to her neck. Her eyes were still open. My heart sank.

The grandmother wanted me to see her before closing her eyes. Tears started flowing from my eyes as I stroked her cheeks and kissed her tiny head. I softly said, “Mesi Jezi” (Thank you Jesus) because today He chose to relieve her from all pain and sickness. The grandmother asked me to shut the lids of her eyes, so I took my two fingers and did it at once. It was that moment that I started to weep.

I was weeping for the precious grandmother who has sacrificed so much to take care of this child. I walked over to her, and told her I wanted to pray for her. She told me she would like that. I was speechless, but the Lord spoke through me. He gave me every word I needed. He was there the whole time protecting and loving on all of us. It was amazing.



I gave the grandmother money to buy Junika a small coffin and anything else she needed. I told her to buy food for her with any money that was left over. I also had a Christmas gift for her, so I gave it to her today. It included a skirt and shirt for church, some soap, and then a cross necklace. I figured today was the best day for her to have that! She said thank you for loving her and Junika so much, and that she would see me at church on Sunday!

Junika and her grandmother have inspired me to always go above and beyond to take care of God’s precious children. They have impacted my life forever. This was the most difficult thing I have had to do since I moved to Haiti, but it is also another moment that I am grateful for. I am thankful because I know that God is going to use this moment to bring more compassion to my heart. My relationship with Him is going to be stronger because of this. There are certain things in life that you simply cannot do at all without Him. This was one of those things.

As we approach this very special week, may you be blessed beyond measure. Remember that it isn’t about the gifts, the cookies, the hectic schedules, but about giving and loving. Peace, Joy, and Love as one more sweet baby is held in Jesus’ arms tonight.


Rest in peace little one...

Carlos, How I Love You So...

This blog is dedicated to little Carlos, our newest addition at Danita’s Children. Danita was contacted by another organization in Haiti to see if we would be willing to take Carlos into our home because he has special needs (after observing him, I believe he is a child with Autism.) He has been with us for about a month now, and I couldn’t be more blessed to have Carlos in my life. He is my little buddy, my little monkey, and God’s little special one…



25 Reasons Why I Love You...
1) Above all, I love you because God loves you!
2) I love how you laugh easily
3) I love how your cry has a little giggle in it
4) I love that you are a challenge of patience
5) I love when I rock you to sleep, you often give a little fight first
6) I love when you start to fall asleep, you press your little lips against the skin of my arm
7) I love that you trust me so much that you will just fall into my lap knowing that I will catch you
8) I love that you give me warning signs when you have had enough
9) I love the fact that you have such a good throwing arm even if you are throwing something you are not suppose to
10) I love how you find so much fun in life
11) I love how you show the other children to love kids that are a bit different
12) I love that you teach tolerance
13) I love the fact that you can go from sad to happy within seconds
14) I love how you put your arms up and whimper for me to pick you up
15) I love how you are strong willed and sometimes down right stubborn
16) I love you because you have been made perfect in the eyes of God
17) I love how you run so cute with your little marching steps
18) I love how you are scared of the little rocking horse in preschool
19) I love that I know you like to eat rice, beans, and spaghetti but hate tuna, cheese, and peanut butter
20) I love that you eat your spaghetti with your fingers because the spoon just doesn’t quite work right
21) I love how you eat your rice and beans with two hands (one hand holds your spoon and the other hand holds your food!)
22) I love when you knock fists with everyone you see
23) I love going down the playground slides with you
24) I love that you like to chase chickens
25) I love your little happy foot shuffle dance you do when you get excited (especially when you see me)














I love that there are at least 100 more reasons to love you, little monkey…

Welcome to our special family, Carlos. You are loved more than you will ever know.

Sweet Sweet Butterfly

I will never forget the night I was writing a research paper on Howard Gardner’s multiple intelligence theory, and I came across the following quote…

A child is…

A butterfly in the wind,
Some can fly higher than others;
but each one flies the best it can.
Why compare one against the other?

Each one is different!
Each one is special!
Each one is beautiful!

After reading the above, I could not even continue writing for the night. I instead, just sobbed. I cried because I wanted everyone to understand this concept, I wanted everyone to embrace the differences of people, and I wanted everyone to be loved no matter what.



Last Friday night, this quote came back to me. I was holding a very sick little boy in a clinic room right across the border in the Dominican Republic. Jean had a fever, was coughing and vomiting, and his breathing was labored. He had pneumonia. His tiny fragile body was fighting once again. He was hooked up to an IV, was given many meds, and even received oxygen. Jean had about eight seizures during our three night stay as well. My heart broke for him, but I was so calm. I knew that so many people were praying for him, and I knew the Lord was protecting him. I knew he was going to make it.

Jean is still recovering from the pneumonia, but he is doing better. I am still praying for direction as I know his cerebral palsy makes everything a bit more challenging. His lungs are still not clear, and he still has a fever off and on. I faithfully believe that he is going to make a full recovery.



I am grateful that I am able to comfort Jean in this time of his life. I pray that he feels my presence, and I hope that he feels loved every day of his life. We have formed a bond, and are making memories each and every day. There is a special song that I’ve shared with him since the day I met him, “Ooh Child” by Beth Orton. It’s simply gorgeous, and calms both of us instantly. One day there will be a dance that goes along with the song for little Jean. When I did not think I could possibly love this precious child anymore, my heart grew at least ten times in size. This is what I find myself saying to God…

What is it about this one? Out of all the children that have crossed my path, why is it Jean that makes me fall to my knees and just cry out to you? I am not worthy to take care of this child, but somehow you have become my hands and feet in the process. You have opened up my heart, you have calmed my nerves, you have given me wisdom, and you have blessed me abundantly. I pray that I make you proud, and I thank you for allowing me to serve you in such an incredible way. I couldn’t ask for anything more!



The day that my beloved stepfather passed away, I saw a butterfly flying at the very scene of his death. It was a reminder of life, and I will never forget that moment. It was God’s way of telling me that everything was going to be alright. Three years later, Jean is that sweet, sweet butterfly that flies at his own height. He is different, he is special, and he is beautiful!

Haiti, Heaven, Home, and Happiness

I have officially been living in Haiti for six months, and I just need someone to pinch me because I truly feel like I’m in Heaven. I wonder how something so different, could feel so right. Haiti feels like home, and I couldn’t be happier…

A Prayer of Gratitude

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray this prayer tonight to give you thanks for everything you have and continue to do in my life. You planted and nourished the seed in me so long ago, but now you are allowing it to grow! Not a day passes where your presence does not surround my every step. I could not do any of this without you nor would I want to. I will never understand why you have chosen me to do such amazing and beautiful work for you, but I want you to know that I do it all with such a heart of gratitude.

I am reminded that about a year ago, you called me away from Haiti. I was devastated as I just longed to be there, but I was comforted by the fact that I knew you wouldn’t leave my side. You asked me to prepare myself because there was going to be something bigger waiting for me when I returned. Oh how your timing is so perfect, Lord!

I did return to something bigger. Not only were there more children at the orphanage, there were more needs. There was Jean, Denise, Marie Joy, Johnny, Katiana, and more. I immediately knew where you wanted me, and was quite content to jump in head first with these little lambs of yours. Their frail bodies, their sunken eyes, their sadness…their hearts were broken. You held them close to you, and carried them in their most difficult and terrifying moments of their lives. I am grateful that you tightly embraced them as they clung to you with all their might. They felt your love, comfort, and peace…you were their Papa.

I thank you for continuing to heal them every day, so that they will be ambassadors for your glory as they grow. I thank you for healing me too. A few years ago, none of this would be possible for me, so it is with great happiness that I thank you. You are using me to help these children, but you are also using these children to heal me! I look forward to the day when I can share my full testimony with everyone around me, and I pray that it will bring many closer to you. I love you with all my heart, all my soul, and all my might. Thank you for being one amazing Father! I love you.

With much gratitude,
Heather

"Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe" Hebrews 12:28

Lyrics in Nichole Nordeman’s song Gratitude

We’ll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please…


Johnny Before (Photo by Brittany Hilker)


Johnny Now


Marie Joy Before (Photo by Brittany Hilker)


Marie Joy Now


Denise Before (Photo by Brittany Hilker)



Denise Now

Complete Perfection

There are some things I understand, there are some things I will understand, and there are some things I will never understand…

Today, I write about something I will never fully understand. I often ask God, “Why do you let me care for your most precious jewels on Earth?” With this I mean, the special children that He has designed to complete perfection. Often people think these children are lacking, but I do not believe they are lacking anything…in fact, I believe they have something “extra.” They have something that sets them apart, they have something that makes them different, they have something that I wish everyone could see…



A seed of love was planted in my heart when I was a young child for individuals with special needs, both children and adults. I have always loved helping people and making them smile. My life has been surrounded by opportunities to be with special needs children. At my elementary school, I helped with the special needs preschool. At dance, I assisted the Dance Abilities class which I later taught for seven years. In college, I took class notes for students with visual and hearing impairments, and I even danced at the Special Olympics. The list goes on and on, but I have never been more honored or blessed than I am in my life right now…



I no longer have to wait for once a year, once a month, or once a week to come along to be with these precious children. Every single day I am at Danita’s Children, I am in their world and this brings me much joy and happiness. Their sweet faces light up my life, and their innocence warms my heart. They have been hand crafted, individually made, and sculpted to a simple pureness like no other. These children have been placed in my hands, and I am undeserving of this honor. I take this great honor with a humbled heart, and I live my days with His grace alone. There are many moments during the day that I should not know what to do, but I find that Christ takes me by the hand and guides me along the way. I am simply amazed that I have been trusted with the most gentle, sweet, and loving spirits that exist here on Earth. These children are truly angels placed along my path…



I am encouraged daily by my little angels to keep doing what God has put in front of me. I pray for so many blessings for these children. My wish is that they will exceed all expectations put in front of them; I hope that they will become ambassadors of their great God, and above all, I pray that they will feel loved every day of their life!

Jean, Fitson, Denise, and Rose Mica…Mami Heather loves you more than words can express! You are truly my inspiration. I adore you with my whole heart, and I thank you for being such amazing, beautiful, and special children. You are complete perfection!

Simply Stated...GREATNESS

I knew there was a reason why I did not write this blog last night, and that reason was made quite clear to me this afternoon.

A Moment in Time (Thursday July 29th at 4:45pm)

All six babies had just been bathed, and I sat in a white plastic chair next to a black iron bench. Fitson was sitting on my lap with his classic grin, Jean was being rocked back and forth by Marilyn, and Dieula was braiding Denise's hair as she lay on another's lap. The sun was beginning to set, and the three women began singing to the Lord in Creole with their beautiful, quiet, and humble voices. The children as well as I were quickly calmed, and everything was so quiet and peaceful. There was so much other stuff going on around me, but for that one moment my world seemed to be at a stand still and it was incredible! I feel so blessed to have been given this gift from above today. This is a moment in time that will remain with me forever.



I do not write this blog tonight about cute children, a miracle I witnessed, or a special occasion. I instead wish to write about some amazing women that I admire each and every day that I am here in Haiti. These women are the individuals I spend many hours with every day. They have fabulous hearts and their work ethic is unimaginable. These women take pride in taking care of the children, and they work with a spirit of excellence that I did not even know existed.



To have a job in Haiti is quite a privilege and they are often much appreciated. To receive a job at Danita's Children is often seen as a bigger blessing, and the Haitian staff is delighted to be a part of the ministry. I have quickly realized that it is in fact a double blessing! The children as well as I receive so much from having these special people in our lives. I have learned so much from the wonderful women that watch the babies and special needs children. They are the most gentle, kind, and spirit-filled ladies I've ever met. They are tender-hearted and patient and I love their sense of humor too!



There are new moments and memories created every day, and I have become a better person just by being in the presence of these women. I am encouraged daily by them, and I want to extend that encouragement to my friends and family who are following my journey. Please do not forget to appreciate those around you on a daily basis. Look at them and see their gifts. They have much to offer to you, and they are put in your life for a reason. But above all else...what do you have to offer them?



"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Ephesians 5:1-2